Sometimes I Wish I Were More Like My Husband…

Four month old twins, Maxton and Carson.

Tonight we put the twins in their own cribs in their own nursery. It’s only down the hall from us and I have a monitor on each of them that scans both their nursery and their sister’s nursery. But they aren’t right here next to me in our room. I already miss them and my heart hurts.  💔😓

This is where they slept in our room next to my side of the bed.

Mattelyn was five months old when we put her in her own crib in her room. These guys are four months old and at their four month wellness check on Friday, our pediatrician said they not only can be in their own room but it would be a perfect time to make the move – they are more than ready. (He said most twins are out of mom and dad’s room by 6 weeks). They will sleep better, will be more comfortable and will likely sleep through the night. Which means longer REM and deep sleep, which encourages brain growth and development (when they have uninterrupted sleep. Not to mention, they no longer have to listen to their dada snore!)

Maxton our oldest twin, 13lbs 9oz

Carson our youngest twin, 14lbs 6oz

Mattelyn slept the first night in her nursery for 9 hours. When I think about how far we have come with them in the past four months, I am thrilled and also so very sad. There is something about this being my last babies I will ever have the privilege to have in my room so close I can touch them that has me an overly emotional wreck. I love them so much and can’t believe they are already at this point. It occurs to me parenthood is filled with this love/hate, happy/sad feeling in everyday situations as they grow (which is daily). We treat them like the babies they are but with the underlying goal of raising amazing adults. They need their independence and desire their own space. But it’s so hard to let them go to the next step. It takes everything inside me to not be selfish right now! Sometimes I just wish I were more like my nonchalant husband. He just accepts the facts and moves on so matter of fact. He always says we have to do what is best for them and he is right. And I on the other hand, worry and stress and overthink. I sit and reminisce about when they were staying in the hospital first born. I recall watching them being wheeled out of my room to the nursery and I sat crying on the side of my bed with my mom.    The first of many of those moments to come. After ten months of them being right next to your heart inside you, it’s difficult to let them leave your side. I can’t help it. I am so proud of them and their stupendous growth. I love them and everything they have overcome from apnea monitors to rolling over on their bellies. They are  our little miracles and beyond amazing.  

As I lay in bed staring at the monitor, waiting for it to switch from Mattelyn, to Maxton, to Carson and then back to Mattelyn, I think about when we brought them home and they slept in the same travel size pack and play in the room I stayed in downstairs:

The nursery was a room we didn’t go into because they weren’t ready and the time I would be putting them to sleep in there seemed to be so far away. But it’s not – it’s here. So here is my prayer tonight for my babes. As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord their souls to keep. Guard and keep them through the night and wake them with your morning light. Amen. 

5 thoughts on “Sometimes I Wish I Were More Like My Husband…

  1. Awwwww. That is so sweet! We are obviously on a different schedule, but moved C into her own bed last week (after she tried – for the third time – to crawl off our bed in the middle of the night). She was ready. I wasn’t sure I was. After a few nights of real sleep, I was less sad and more happy (aka: rested). But that just means she is growing up and it is all happening so quickly!

    • Oh I love to hear that! She was ready and you followed her lead. It’s hard being the adult! Happy you’re feeling rested too. Love you guys! Thanks for the comment too. Means a lot! XO

  2. I love reading your blog!! We also have twin boys that will be 3 months on the 21st. I started following you when I was pregnant!! Love hearing what your Lil guys are up to! They are so adorable. I noticed your first born twin weighs less then his brother and that is how ours are also!!

    • Oh bless you guys and your little precious ones!! So happy you enjoy my blog. Hearing from other mamas inspires me to write more often! So many blogs are lifestyle and I love that. Mine just happens to be about real life and how this whole being new parents thing really feels. I would love to hear your stories as well. I want to get down their birth story as well – a goal of mine that I hope to achieve soon! Thanks so much for writing and for following. XO 😘💙💙

      • Yes, can’t wait to hear all about their birth!! We were going for vaginal delivery. Baby B was breach but my ob said as long as he stays smaller he would have no problem delivering him breach! Well at 34 weeks I went to my ob for my weekly checkup, nst,and ultrasound and my midwife checked me and I was dilated 6cm and like 80 percent effaced!! Yikes!! My dr put me straight in the hospital. We live like an hour away from the hospital so he said I am not going anywhere til I have these babies. Well wouldn’t you know i was in there till 37 weeks and 3 days and they had to do a c section because baby b was now bigger then baby a. They did great. Brent Lee weighed 7lbs 1oz and Blake Cole weighed 7lbs 9oz and we came home 2 days later!! Having twins has been so exhausting and rewarding at the same time!!

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