Tonight we put the twins in their own cribs in their own nursery. It’s only down the hall from us and I have a monitor on each of them that scans both their nursery and their sister’s nursery. But they aren’t right here next to me in our room. I already miss them and my heart hurts. 💔😓
Mattelyn was five months old when we put her in her own crib in her room. These guys are four months old and at their four month wellness check on Friday, our pediatrician said they not only can be in their own room but it would be a perfect time to make the move – they are more than ready. (He said most twins are out of mom and dad’s room by 6 weeks). They will sleep better, will be more comfortable and will likely sleep through the night. Which means longer REM and deep sleep, which encourages brain growth and development (when they have uninterrupted sleep. Not to mention, they no longer have to listen to their dada snore!)
Mattelyn slept the first night in her nursery for 9 hours. When I think about how far we have come with them in the past four months, I am thrilled and also so very sad. There is something about this being my last babies I will ever have the privilege to have in my room so close I can touch them that has me an overly emotional wreck. I love them so much and can’t believe they are already at this point. It occurs to me parenthood is filled with this love/hate, happy/sad feeling in everyday situations as they grow (which is daily). We treat them like the babies they are but with the underlying goal of raising amazing adults. They need their independence and desire their own space. But it’s so hard to let them go to the next step. It takes everything inside me to not be selfish right now! Sometimes I just wish I were more like my nonchalant husband. He just accepts the facts and moves on so matter of fact. He always says we have to do what is best for them and he is right. And I on the other hand, worry and stress and overthink. I sit and reminisce about when they were staying in the hospital first born. I recall watching them being wheeled out of my room to the nursery and I sat crying on the side of my bed with my mom. The first of many of those moments to come. After ten months of them being right next to your heart inside you, it’s difficult to let them leave your side. I can’t help it. I am so proud of them and their stupendous growth. I love them and everything they have overcome from apnea monitors to rolling over on their bellies. They are our little miracles and beyond amazing.
As I lay in bed staring at the monitor, waiting for it to switch from Mattelyn, to Maxton, to Carson and then back to Mattelyn, I think about when we brought them home and they slept in the same travel size pack and play in the room I stayed in downstairs:
The nursery was a room we didn’t go into because they weren’t ready and the time I would be putting them to sleep in there seemed to be so far away. But it’s not – it’s here. So here is my prayer tonight for my babes. As I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord their souls to keep. Guard and keep them through the night and wake them with your morning light. Amen.